I might have gone crazy..

But I didn't. The week so far has been weirdly horrible, that everything seems to crash and I have to clear the mess. However, my conclusion is that some of them are my own mistakes and some simply are just things beyond my own control.

The following is something rather personal and you wouldn't like to hear me rant about it. My mum quit from her job 2 weeks ago and so she should be very free, since she doesn't have to go to work anymore. However, the house still pretty much looks the same, where the same means dirty as ever. I was happy when I overheard her told her friend over the phone that she will have to be a worthy housewife and take care of the house and cook meals. However, for the past 2-3 weeks, she only cooked porridge once for lunch. The rest of the days for me were spent eating from hawker centres, food courts and restaurants, and it has been taking its tolls on me, falling sick and spending lots of money. I handed her 2 stacks of clothes and she only ironed one piece which I needed for last Saturday, and hence I have decided to iron the rest later in the day, as waiting may take me forever. It is not that I hate her or dislike her. I am upset and disappointed about how things turn out this way, to the extent that I call it dysfunctional. From my point of view, being a full-time student and able to perform in studies and able to be financially independent has been a feat. But besides doing that, I have to handle the things in the family, applying for CPF stuffs, clean the house and wash dishes as there is no one else doing it. Did i mention that I'm the one buying groceries and it got depleted rapidly. It is to this point that I feel that I have been taken for granted in the family. Thankfully I am not emotional yet.

As for my sister, she is going to spend the whole of the post O-levels doing nothing, other than roaming Orchard and her friends' places, for all i care. I have run out of ideas of what to deal with her, since she is such a heavy spender, and apparently she doesn't have much to get herself prepared for the new school term, how come she doesn't learn that money doesn't come easy. I was so heart-broken when she simply told Jac that I have money when Jac told her that she will have to cancel her phone plan. (and yes, I really think that things have been going in her way by manipulating, and at the expense of those who care for her.) And hence, from now on, I shall not give in until she realise what she has been doing, which means I'm washing my hands of her, to make her learn. She hasn't learnt that if you want something very much, you have to earn it and not wait for it to be bestowed upon you, not everyday is sunday right?

Well, you may think that hey, they are your family, and you guys are related by blood and you shouldn't do this or that. But I have been taken for granted and I have definitely tried my best in doing many things till the extent that I am feeling so exhausted not over my studies, but over miscellaneous matters which I don't know WTH am I so bothered with. Maybe I asked too much out of myself, that I wanted to make sure that things are going well in the family, and it is making me break.

I hope my mood will lift later, when I meet CK for dinner.