Inching

"I love Love, I love being in Love.
I don't care what it does to me."

Things are good, things are bad. One great news is that I received two of my mid-term papers, particularly 'EDS126 - Educational Organization and Sociology" and "CHEM149A - Environmental Chemistry". Well, the first one was essay-based, a 100 marks which makes up 40% of that class. Really thank God and feel elated for getting 96 marks, because writing essay is never something I'm good at. This paper means much more to me, in boosting my confidence in writing, and to feel comfortable with my writing style. For the latter class, I got 41/45 for the mid-term, which makes up 20% of the class. Although I still worry for the organic mechanism class, I'm happy for doing well for the other two classes. Hopefully, the good grades will perpetuates till the end of the quarter.

Another great thing that happened was that I'm starting to be more pro-active about my activities in SD, and do whatever I wish to do here. I gain control of what I want to do. Made me feel better. In a way, I lowered my expectations for others and raised my expectations for myself. Bad thing is that you can't make the world turn for you, can't make everyone like you as a person, but best you could do is to like yourself, to be comfortable with who you are, and how you see yourself. In short, self-confidence.

There were awkward moments too, but I think I shall leave it as that and pray about it.

Heart After You

Create in me a new heart,
One that follows You.
Place in me a deep desire,
to know You as I know.

Set my feet in Your way,
To live worthy of Your call.
Draw me near to You Lord,
Every single day.


I just want to be more like You,
Walk with You beside me,
Lord, won't you be my guide,
Place your heart inside my soul,
A heart that's ever true,
One's that after you.

Two weeks into school

Time flies while you are having fun. I'm sure I did have fun and hope that time passes slowly while I'm at it. I feel that God has opened doors to many possibilities in my life. The thought of how I miraculously take up bahasa indonesia and know my room mate Peter by chance, and coming to San Diego for exchange and eventually get acquainted with many good friends is more than enough to convince me that it is not any happenstance or coincidence. And I know very well it was God's plan that I'm here, exposing me to things I always wanted in my life, the independence and freedom to decide the path for myself, to boost my self-confidence, and to become someone who doesn't live to live up to people expectations, but to do things just because I want to and not obliged to. In one way or the other, I've become a stronger and better person, that I know where my weakness lies, and to know what I want in life. One thing for sure, I've once again, developed the thirst for education and the words of God. Though i know the need for paper chase as the paper is credential and not a proof of education, yet it is important to be equipped with knowledge and skill, which proves to be useful in a long run. Well, I hope I can be less anxious and calculative about some things, and be less judgmental about people behaviors. Indeed, I think my God is great, because He love everyone so much that he sacrificed Himself on the cross.